2 år sen.

På Lucia för exakt 2 år sen va vi på äggplock. Ett äggplock som skulle bli det bästa vi gjort i hela våra liv !!
Ett av äggen blev vår underbara lilla flicka
 
Så lucia kommer nog alltid vara speciellt för mig. Hur den fruktansvärda dagen kunde bli något så vackert :)
 
Tänk va sjukt medans man själv va i sin gravid lycko bubbla och bebis bubbla så spelade inget annat någon roll, vem som blev gravid eller hur många barn folk fick... men nu när man börjat längta igen så plötsligt spelar det lite roll igen.
Det va så skönt att inte känna nån avund eller nåt sånt under den perioden.
Jag känner fortfarande inte den starka hemska avundsjukan som innan jag fick barn, men jag måste erkänna att det sticker till lite i hjärtat när många av de som fick barn samtidigt som oss nu har en tvåa på gång... Andra pratar om NÄR de ska planera in sitt syskon och då känner man lite irritation :(
 
Försöker tänka att det kanske finns en mening med det inte går för oss....
Att jag kanske skulle må så dåligt av graviditeten att jag försummar min dotter.
Att min rygg som fortfarande är klen (känner av den gamla foglossningen ibland) inte klarar en graviditet just nu
Att jag blir så dålig och inte kan jobba, vilket innebär inga pengar.
Äsch jag vet inte.... det är väl bara såhär det är helt enkelt.
 
Fan, och E vill inte göra någon ivf nu... säkert inte på hela 2013 :(
Hur ska jag kunna släppa detta så länge ?
Det är lätt för honom att släppa, men för mig är det ju som en ruvning varenda månad då man i 2 veckor går och känner efter, tänker och hoppas... spelar ingen roll om man bestämt sig för att inte bry sig.... det gör man ju automatiskt ändå.
 
Oxå den satans ålders nojjan då.... Åhhhh !! mina ägg skrumpnar väl mer och mer för varje dag som går :/
 
 
.
 

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Förstår exakt vad du menar. Skönt att jag inte ät ensam. Eller ja, jag vill ju inte att någon ska behöva känns så men... Ja du vet hur jag menar... Jag har inte heller känt någon avund, men nu när lilla Frosty baby blivit ett år och suget efter en liten till kommit så känns det i hjärtat när andra har bebis på gång, eller planerar. Jag hoppas att ni lyckas på egen hand, liksom vi!

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